Hello Curious Friends! Welcome to Episode 9 of the Curiously You Podcast!
This episode is all about values and alignment. We are speaking with life coach and positive psychology practitioner Kelsey Joy about how to uncover what we truly value, and how to bring ourselves back into alignment with those values.
There are exercises a-plenty for you to try, Kelsey runs us through them all. We speak about how it’s not necessary to make massive life changes in order to start living by our values, rather, we can start to infuse the things we already to everyday with them, in this way we can start to feel in more control of our life, even if there are certain things we can’t change right now.
We discuss the importance of understanding our ‘why’ and always taking action by reference to our why, and how in seeking “purpose”, what we are *really* seeking is the most valuable use of our time.
We dive into fixed vs. growth mindset, and how you can very quickly move yourself from saying “I’ll never be able to do that”, to creatively coming up with ways that you can! We discuss how focussing on process rather than outcome is a great way to inspire us to action and self-belief.
This episode is perfect for you if:
– You are feeling something is not quite right, and there is an inexplicable resistance in your life right now – it may well be your values are out of alignment.
– You like the idea of integrating your values into things that you already do every day.
– You have been thinking about going for something that you really want to do but keep telling yourself “I’ll never be able to do that”, or “that’s just not for me.”
Time-stamped Show Notes
[4:02] The overwhelm, Kelsey’s destructive habits, and trying to have it all. The process of unlearning when life no longer feels right.
[4:58] Resistance is because you values are out of alignment, and the misconception of what is needed to be happy.
[7:24] 3 simple exercises you can use to align yourself with your values [unique value point].
[10:31] What exactly ARE values?
[12:26] Living in alignment is like strengthening your muscles, plus what it *really* feels like when you are connecting with your values, and how to do it [unique value point].
[15:43] How to put your life in your control by infusing your values into your everyday.
[17:41] It takes time to build values-based living, so we must do it in a compassionate way.
[19:21] The trap of doing constant personal development work, how constantly “trying to be a better person” actually makes you less happy.
[21:56] Every action you take has a reason, whether you are aware of it or not.
[22:58] Knowing that your why is connected to your values brings you back into alignment.
[25:38] How everything comes down to love or fear, and how to flip a fearful mindset into a loving mindset quickly.
[28:55] It’s not “what’s my purpose” it’s “what can I do with my time that’s important”.
[33:36] The difference between fixed and growth mindset, which are you?
[36:28] How to focus on process rather than outcome i.e. you worked hard vs you’re really smart.
[38:37] The ONE THING you can tell yourself when you feel like you can’t do something to inspire you to take action [unique value point].
[51:05] The importance of trying out different life coaches before you settle on one.
Key Take Homes
The times when we feel the least resistance in our lives, and when we feel most easeful, is when our thoughts, actions and behaviours are in alignment with our values.
Everything that you do can simplify down to love or fear, if you ask yourself “what would I be doing if I act out of love?” then you will bring yourself back into alignment with your authentic “why”.
It doesn’t take dramatic action in order to bring yourself back into alignment with your values. Understand your values then make small efforts every day to infuse the things you already do with them.
Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown
The Four Agreements: Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz
A List of Core Personal Values
Authenticity, Achievement, Adventure, Authority, Autonomy, Balance, Beauty, Boldness, Compassion, Challenge, Citizenship, Community, Competency, Contribution, Creativity, Curiosity, Determination, Fairness, Faith, Fame, Friendships, Fun, Growth, Happiness, Honesty, Humor, Influence, Inner Harmony, Justice, Kindness, Knowledge, Leadership, Learning, Love, Loyalty, Meaningful Work, Openness, Optimism, Peace, Pleasure, Poise, Popularity, Recognition, Religion, Reputation, Respect, Responsibility, Security, Self-Respect, Service, Spirituality, Stability, Success, Status, Trustworthiness, Wealth, Wisdom.
Above is a list of 50 common personal values.
Using your gut reaction circle your top 10.
Cut that top 10 in half…
then cut it down again to 3.
What are your top 3 values, and how well aligned is your life to them?
Let us know in the comments, or send me an email directly (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I hope you enjoyed this episode Curious Friends and, until the next episode, take care of yourself.