Welcome to episode 27 of the Curiously You podcast with Recovery Coach Sasha Tozzi! In today’s episode we look at the belief systems and thought patterns that lead to addictions and self-sabotaging behaviours.
Sasha, now sober, talks about her holistic coaching journey. As we quickly realise, addictive behaviour includes alcohol and drugs, but it can also include “socially acceptable” forms of addiction, such as work and exercise.
We learn how to develop self-awareness and use it to get to the root cause of our addictive behaviours: the underlying thought patterns and belief systems. These are usually anchored in perfectionism, poor self-esteem, and a lack of inner peace.
Sasha walks us through her road to recovery, what she has learned, and provides us with tools to help us overcome addictive and self-sabotaging behaviours.
You’ll love this episode if:
– You continually find yourself in patterns of self-destructive behavior that undermine your health and well-being;
– Obsess over things, and have perfectionist tendencies that smother your creativity.
Time-stamped Show Notes
[4:14] Sasha is a holistic coach helping others recover from addiction and different self-sabotaging behaviours, including alcoholism, food addiction, and narcotics.
She works through the underlying patterns and beliefs including negative thought patterns and perfectionism which are similar through all addictions. Sasha has a background in psychology, is a certified yoga teacher, and has been in recovery and sober for almost six years.
She fell in love with the process of transformation and found a program in holistic coaching in her area.
[11:50] Sasha worked as a health coach who focused on addiction and self-sabotage patterns, like emotional eating habits. She has been in recovery from alcohol and drugs, and decided to share her story on Facebook. She then started her second website, which was a blog addressing addiction and recovery in 2015. It was a natural progression from this step into recovery coach.
[15:15] Sasha talks about the emotional and psychological patterns and mechanisms that are the main drivers of self-sabotaging behavior and addictions. Generally, it evolves from being sick of the way life is going, hitting rock bottom, and facing a crossroad: something must change.
[17:00] Sasha talks about the steps taken to initiate the process of change from hitting rock bottom.
She partied hard during her break, then she went back to school and saw a therapist. After feeling very down and depressed, her therapist gave her a pamphlet for a 12 step process for Alcoholics Anonymous. She was willing to see what this process would be like this time, even though she had attempted AA before.
This started the process of her looking at the problems in her life head on, the addiction she had formed, and her self-sabotaging behaviours.
[23:26] The 12 step meetings for AA was a tool to help build connection and community.
When you break down and take a closer look at addiction and self sabotaging behavior, it is a product of disconnection, within oneself and from others. The 12 step program addresses this with communal meetings, creating a space of support and connection. There are other types of recovery-based programs, including exercise or movement based recovery, which blend some of the concepts and principles of the 12 step programme.
Sasha believes that programs should be customized to individual circumstances. A huge part of these recovery plans and general health is taking care of your body through nutrition. She also believes that some form of meditative practice, for example breathing exercises or stillness practices catered to the individual needs was a huge aid in the recovery process.
[29:28] A common pattern of self sabotaging behavior is to substitute one addiction for the other, whether healthy and unhealthy. Excessive busyness and workaholic attitudes are examples of those substitute addictions. When things are done to excess, we do this to avoid ourselves, reality and our feelings; stillness is a great antidote.
[32:07] How does a pattern of self sabotaging behavior get addressed? What is the root cause? All the things we see happening on the outside are symptoms of the deeper problem that varies from person to person but has to do with the beliefs systems and internal world. The addiction is the physical manifestation of these beliefs.
Sasha explains that in her personal situation, her addiction stemmed from a lack of self-esteem. She believes it is impossible to be self-destructive if you are at peace with yourself.
[41:38] Taking a closer look at addiction, there are strong perfectionist tendencies and a need to feel like you’re achieving and doing. Sasha has learnt that’s it ok to be yourself and has come to belief that perfectionism can be a constricted experience.
Creativity draws the opposite of perfectionism: there is freedom – to create and to be free. The more that Sasha can be creative steering toward herself, the less she is in her perfectionist mode entertaining self-sabotaging behavior, and unhealthy addiction.
Get in contact with Sasha:
Sasha’s recommended reading:
Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
The Warrior Goddess Way: Claiming the Woman You are Destined to Be by Heather Ash Amara
The Four Agreements: Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz
Succulent Wild Woman by SARK
Rather than telling yourself to “just stop being a perfectionist!”, how could you indulge your creative side in order to crowd out your perfectionist streak instead?
Let me know in the comments!
It takes a lot of time, money, and effort to curate and create each Curiously You podcast episode.
After a lot of soul searching, I decided that I can’t face interrupting each episode with sponsorship messages in order to keep the show going, and so… I have launched the Curiously You Patreon page!
For $10 patronage per month you’ll get:
– A personal Thank-You voice note from me.
– Access to a private Patreons-only Facebook group, where I will be checking in at least once a day.
– This podcast is one big manifestation challenge! Receive behind-the-scenes updates from me on what I’m doing to manifest money, support, and success for the Curiously You podcast, and create your own manifestation alongside!
– Access to an episode once per month between my husband Mike & I, either a Q&A or discussion (check out our YouTube here).
If you are learning from the podcast and it’s starting to shift the way you see the world and helping you create more understanding and alignment in your life, please consider contributing toward the Curiously You Patreon Campaign each month.
It will help me keep the show going, and nurture its growth; in exchange you’ll get loads of rewards, perks and goodies!
Thanks so much for tuning in to this episode curious friends, and until the next episode, take care of yourself.