I went for my first run in… ooooo roughly a year and a half this morning. Wasn’t that interesting…
A lot has changed in my mindset since my last run, and I realised just how much working out is an exercise in self-criticism for me.
You know That Guy from those weight-loss TV Shows who is literally SCREAMING at their client:
“COME ON!!! YOU’RE MADE OF MORE THAN THIS!!! YOU CALL THIS A WORK OUT??? MOVE YOUR ASS!!!”
Basically me in my head.
So I tried a few things today that were more in the feminine that’d I’d like to share with you, and I hope will support you during your movement practise:
1. For half of the time I didn’t have my headphones in. I would listen lovingly to my breath, creating a rhythm, and also to the birds and nature sounds around me.
2. The other half of the time I had my headphones in I was listening to the amazing Warrioress playlist curated by Andrea E Nicholas. Some deep feminine belly beats, tribal sounds and empowered song. This got my feminine flow going (ps check out Andrea’s work… just trust me on this).
3. I released as often as possible the desire to “just get to that street lamp” (we all know about this internal negotiation, right?), and come back to the present as often as possible.
4. Instead of seeing That Guy (mentioned earlier) shouting at me and PUSHING myself. I created a beautiful tribal Goddess in my minds eye and envisioned what SHE would be saying to me:
“You’re taking care of your body isn’t that wonderful”
“Go as far in this as feels good, and no more”
“You’re strong, and you’re doing this because you CAN and you WANT to (not because you HAVE to).
5. I released all calorie counting. This was about looking after my health and filling lungs with nourishing, cleansing oxygen, NOT about losing weight or looking “hot”.
6. I was gentle with my steps (recommended to be gentle in exercise by Heather Allison in our podcast convo earlier this week), I didn’t push, I brought myself back to unattachment to “achieving” as much as possible.
On my way back home, I ran into the neighbour who asked the niceties of how I am, what I had been up to etc.
When I shared that I ran to the end of the village and back he said:
“That’s not far AT ALL, Colin [other neighbour] runs to [Giant Hill in the Valley] in [short time].
ANNNNNND BREATHE INTO IT.
I literally felt that tightness of competition take over my stomach and heart, the need to defend myself. As soon as I felt it I imagined that energy moving through and out the back of my body.
“That’s great for him!”, I said.
And I thought as I walked through my front door, “Wow, we’ve ALL got the wounded masculine, eh?” and felt forgiveness for him and tried to project love for is own “not enoughness” to have that thought immediately come to his mind.
That’s a lot for a Friday morning! Time to start some work!